


Dirk's Pesterquest

by graveThyella



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Mentions of Suicide, Other, Short & Sweet, Strained Friendships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22993762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graveThyella/pseuds/graveThyella
Summary: I was getting anxious over Dirk's pesterquest route being delayed till April 1st so I decided to write my own.
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

You've zapped into Dirk's apartment ready to confront him about Jake, Brobot, and Roxy's feelings. You're so pumped, your fists balled up ready to give this guy a piece of your mind but he's in the shower. You zap thirty minutes into the future because really that is enough time for even a long shower….he's still in the shower. You zap ahead by another fifteen minutes. What the fuck is up with this guy? You figure he should be done soon so you wait and check out his room. 

There's pointy sunglasses sitting on a makeshift table of plywood and cinder blocks along with an assortment of advanced tech and robot parts. It really does blow your mind how he's meshed both primitive furnishings and technology. He has a giant flat screen tv taking up one whole wall going through a slideshow of pictures, turntables, a laptop, and a tablet, and what you assume are a bunch of scrap robot pieces. 

He has pieces of photos, posters, and book pages hanging around his room which makes you reflect on Jake's room...how lived in it was and you wonder if perhaps Dirk isn't that different from his friend? 

No. You shake the idea from your head, Jake is trapped in his room because of the brobot. Because of Dirk's carelessness! They're not similar at all. Also he's still in the shower and you're losing your patience. You zap an hour into the future because there's no way he could still be showering. None. 

He's still in the fucking shower! You curse and zap three hours into the future. 

Finally, You're standing face to shades with Dirk Strider. The Vriska of the kids who's in need of a good talking to. 

Make the first move (chapter 2)  
Wait (Chapter 3)


	2. Chapter 2

You decide to make the first move, you're a bold and confident person and you came here with a mission. To help Jake and Roxy deal with this guy. 

You take a breath and reball your fists. Now is the time, he's looking at you and you can see his eyebrow peak above his shades questioningly. 

"Jake hates the brobot." You start before spewing at the mouth like a broken dam drowning a city. 

"He hates it and he can barely leave his room because it attacks him at first glance! Also Jake doesn't like you romantically...he doesn't seem to like anyone romantically! He's just a fun loving boy who wants to make people happy but you keep pushing your thoughts, feelings, and plans on him! He's not some puppet you can control!" 

Ooph that was a lot and you haven't even gotten to Roxy. Maybe you should just stick with solving things for Jake for now. 

For a moment you think you see some emotion on this robot of a boy's stoic face, a flashed crunching of the bridge of his nose in anger or maybe sadness? But soon it's as still as the ocean outside his window. Any trickle of emotion buried deep to crash on shores no one will ever observe. 

"Okay. I can take the brobot down and bring it back here." 

He agrees and you're a little shocked honestly, you had expected an argument. With a breath of relief you grab his hand and zap him to Jake's island. 

He glances around and chuckles a little, another unexpected reaction. 

"Even the air is different."   
"What?"   
"The air. It doesn't smell like salt and dead fish...it's also heavier and feels nicer." 

You're unsure what to make of that and it takes you a moment to pinpoint his underlying thought. There's plants here. Many of them, unlike where he was...a post apocalyptic world surrounded by ocean. Any plants there would be rare...barely sustaining any existence even. 

"Is Jake here?" 

You shake your head 'no' because honestly you're not onboard with these two meeting. Dirk has done too much damage and you're not about to let him do more.

"Damn, the brobot is programmed to seek him out." 

He complains before heading into the overgrown forest of Jake's island and you wonder if maybe you were a bit too hasty but you've made your bed and you will lay in it. 

You wander through the forest, Dirk slicing through some beasts with quick precision. Saving you both a couple of times as you hunt down an elusive bot. 

An awkward silence falls between you as the hunt continues, you would even argue that Dirk forgot you were there. You're tempted to just zap into the future again and let Dirk do the hunting...actually that's a great idea! 

You zap into the future. You're behind a large fan like leaf watching the scene play out. You see yourself with Dirk, you're both scratched up but not in bad shape. Dirk is pinning the brobot down with a knee and disconnecting wires from a panel in the robots back. 

"Okay. Done." He says and falls back onto his ass. You watch yourself zap Dirk and the robot elsewhere right when Jake comes running out the door of his place. 

"Dirk!" He yells waving his hands in the air as if to catch the other boys attention as the last of the electricity of your power disperses into the ether. Jake stands there for a bit as if piecing together what just happened. 

"Drats. What a slippery eel." He waves his hand in the air in complete futility. 

"Jake!" Just because Dirk isn't here doesn't mean Jake can't say hi to a friend and you want to share with him the good news of the brobot. He turns in your direction and unfurls his fist to wave a happy hello towards you as you pop out from behind the large leaf. You see his mouth open just about to greet you when a large creature springs from the sea with the head of a goat. Your face falls, the start of a warning on your tongue as it eats Jake in one bite before you can even make a sound. 

You need to fix this. 

You zap back in time and shove Jake back into his house before he even gets a foot outside. You pat yourself on the back, mission accomplished. Jake is safe from the sea goat and the brobot. 

But nothing is that simple. You watch Jake later on fall asleep and become the dinner of spidermom. Or a tentacled abomination. Or get blasted by a double headed cyclops. You keep zapping through time to keep Jake alive till you're exhausted. You rest, hearing the wet crunching sounds as a double mouthed feline makes a midnight snack of Jake English. You rest long enough to zap back to Dirk's apartment and collapse. 

You wake up on Dirk's bed. The mattress is worn and barely offers any cushion between you and the plywood it's on top of. You groan, your back hurts and you don't feel all that rested. 

"Jake's mia." Dirk says in place of a greeting and you flinch. You have to tell Dirk what happened. 

You glance at him and gulp, he's studying you and you're sweating. 

"He...died." you prepare to zap to a different location predicting an attack but it doesn't come. He laughs, it's a bitter laugh and buries his face in his hands, sliding his shades up. 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." His voice is harsh, strained. 

"I looked over the brobots coding while you slept. All my fail safes were working, he never would have been able to mortally wound Jake. Fuck! He was coded to protect him and take care of his injuries! FUCK!" Dirk is yelling and you're realizing some important things but mainly that you fucked up. 

"I shouldn't have listened to you!" You can see Dirk's eyes, they're wet with unshed tears. "You have to fix this. I don't care if Jake hates me till the day I die over brobot so long as he's alive to fucking do that!" Dirk begins to pace, takes a couple of deep breaths and stills. 

"But he's dead...permanently in this timeline isn't he?" He shakes his head as if to maintain his composure and you realize you don't really know. You decide to quietly zap back and try again.


	3. Chapter 3

You decide to wait, maybe socializing with Dirk is kind of like socializing with a cat? The less interested you are in him the more inclined he'll be to open up? You sure hope so. 

You stand in your spot looking into his dark pointy shades and he stares back at you. This goes on for about ten minutes and you decide to turn your back to him to give your eyes a break. 

"You're the...person who can time and space travel right?" His voice tells you he already knows the answer but you nod an affirmative before turning to face him once more. 

"Roxy mentioned you." You didn't ask but he let's you know anyway. 

He looks away, to his tablet and fidgets a bit like he's debating how to say something. You think it's odd, you never pictured Dirk to be the type to look and act so...awkward. This is the kid who sent an abusive robot to his friend, toyed with others emotions, and seemed so self righteous from the stories you heard. You think back not to Vriska but to Equius. An awkward robotics nerd with a reputation that didn't match who they were. 

He inhales sharply and runs a hand on the back of his neck now looking to his flat screen tv and the picture slide. 

"I'm going to be honest here. You fucked me." 

He says and you straighten your spine, maybe you hadn't been as off the mark as you thought? You prepare to zap out of reach in case he attacks you. You watch him, his eyes are still trained on the tv. His frown tensed momentarily before he lunged...but not at you. He scrambles for a remote and turns his flatscreen off. 

He's still for a moment, almost like he's waiting for you to say something. You just look at him puzzled. 

"Okay." He straightens up, you have no idea what was going on right now but you get the impression you're not supposed to. 

"Sburb was my way to get out of here." He finally starts to explain. "And Jane is now solidly against playing...as is everyone else." 

He pauses a bit for you to potentially say something, you nod instead. 

"So I was thinking I was just trapped here. No way out...aside from…" he looks out the window and you think that probably means something but you're not sure what. 

"I did the calculations." You realize that Dirk, like Dave, was a master at dancing around an issue. You nod and hope he gets to his point. 

"From this high up it'd be like concrete." You take a moment. What would be like concrete? He's kind of lost you. 

"Fuck. I don't know why I'm telling you any of this." He begins pacing and you watch. 

"Maybe you're my note. I didn't bother writing one since no one would find it….but I guess maybe that feels a little hollow. Not leaving something behind. No last words...or having last words that disappear into the air because no one is there to hear them." 

Oh. Oh no. No no no. You shake your head as you realize what he was saying. He was going to kill himself? You take a step back, you missed something somewhere about this kid and now you're scrambling to find it. 

He runs a hand through his hair, he looks flustered. You study him. Alone in a dilapidated department for 16 years...that's what you missed. This boy is the loneliest boy in the world. You smile at the realization, you can help him. You can get him out of here! It'd be so easy! 

"Or maybe I'm just trying to manipulate you for my own means...you could get me out of here. You could probably even get me into sburb in the right timeline." Oh...you hesitate. 

You don't know how to feel about that. You suppose you've been manipulated by others in the past yet somehow the idea of Dirk doing that feels even more dangerous than others. 

He's still pacing, thinking, you wonder if his mind is like a never ending chess game. "I suppose it's all of the above. I know you can take me anywhere. At any time…" 

He seems hesitant and you decide you're done thinking, it's exhausting. You grab his hand and tell him to think of where he wants to go one second before using your powers. 

Something however has gone horribly wrong. You feel like you're being shredded apart like pulled pork. You look to Dirk, he's glitching? It's like looking at a broken screen shattering and reforming continuously as circuits break, snap and fizz out of existence. You see around you flashes of faces and places. You see Jake. You see Roxy. You see Jane. You see Dave??? You try to focus on one, to get you both out of this splintered existence. 

Jake (Chapter 4)   
Roxy (Chapter 5)   
Jane (Chapter 6)   
Dave (Chapter 7)


	4. Chapter 4

You hear a startled scream as you appear in Jake's room. 

"Strider, by golly give a fellow a warning before just appearing in his room! What if I had been indecent?" Jake says as you get your bearings. 

You look for Dirk and realize you're straddling his back, he makes a dazed sound of acknowledgment. You hop to your feet and Jake goes to help Dirk to his. Jake...apparently decided he really liked his cross play of Lara Croft as he was still wearing it. 

"Jake?" He asks, still sounding stunned...and his face beat red. You didn't think he was the type to blush but you've been pretty wrong lately. Jake brushes nonexistent dust from Dirk's shirt. 

"Ah Dirk. Hadn't expected to see you any time soon, we can now go on one of those grand adventures!" Jake is boisterous and you think maybe this wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. He hasn't even mentioned the brobot… 

Dirk on the other hand is standing so straight and stiff that you think even you with your twig arms could snap him. 

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want." He agrees, his voice even and unphased despite his body language...you think that's the key to figuring Dirk out but it's too late to learn that as the two boys are scurrying off to explore the island. You collapse against Jake's bed to rest. 

You hope things work out for them now but you don't intend to stick around to find out.


	5. Chapter 5

You reach for Roxy, you know she has a crush on Dirk and somewhere in your subconscious you think it needs to be addressed. You zap outside her lab to the disgruntled shouts of chess men. They swarm around you both, a look of aggravated hunger in their eyes. They start to lunge forward and you hear Dirk clattering to hold his katana correctly, he must still be a little dazed like you are, when you suddenly hear a whistle and see a tuft of blond hair disappear in the far distance behind a ruined pillar. The chess men turn toward the whistle having lost interest in you both and shortly after the door behind you slides up. 

"D.Stri! Chessy the unchess!" Roxy greets you both, she doesn't seem to have landed on a nickname for you yet but is definitely toying around. She quickly pulls you both into her lab, Dirk returns his katana to his specibus. 

"Roxy?" Dirk asks, he seems confused. 

Roxy twirls, her hair bouncing, "The one and only Rolal in the houze!" She seems chipper and unphased by her sudden guests. 

"I told you Cheessy, you’d be back annnd I was right! that’s one for Roxy mama." She winks playfully at you before grabbing Dirk's hand. She blushes lightly like it has now dawned on her that the boy she's been crushing on is not only in her home but is also now holding hands with her….okay he's not holding her hand back but he's not pulling away which is basically the same thing. 

She taps her feet up in down excited and lifts Dirk's hand in time with her own. "Ooooh I'm so excited! Dirk! We can dance! And talk and make food and- do you like pumpkins? I mostly have pumpkins." She is talking a mile a minute, enough to keep even Dirk from answering as she pulls him along deeper into the lab she lives in. 

"And babies! We can have babies Dirk and raise them here and-" Dirk startles at that but Roxy doesn't seem to notice. 

"Roxy, wait...what?" Dirk, for once, actually sounds alarmed and Roxy chuckles.

"I’m kiddin Dstri chillax I know you’re waaaay gaaaay." She waves a dismissive hand, "The last two people in the world, left to keep the human race poppin and one's GAY!" There's a tilt in her shoulders and you know she's not joking anymore. "If I were a boy you'd be all over me, how's that for lemons?" Her bubbly voice crashes. She sounds small. 

Dirk stills and swallows thickly. You feel like you should leave...let them work this out on their own but you're too tired to zap anywhere so you stay quiet and just watch. 

"I'm sorry." Dirk says, surprising you all the more. You had spent so much time crafting this image of Dirk as an abuser and a manipulator that you never thought he'd apologize for anything. 

Dirk looks away from Roxy and pulls his hand free, "I'm not who you want me to be. I'm not even who you deserve…" he takes a step back from her and she takes two towards him. "I love you, Roxy. Really I do...but not like that." She looks at the ground, you expect her to cry. She doesn't. She nods silently and wipes her eyes to cut off any potential tears in their tracks. There's a long moment of silence before she looks back up, "And you can't change...I get it." She leans back a little. 

Both of them look like they're trying to think of a way to remedy the situation as another silence falls between them. The silence goes on long enough for you to feel rested enough to zap out of here so you do.


	6. Chapter 6

Jake and Roxy both come with baggage to unload and you think that's not the right call. Not right now. You feel like your head is splitting and you frantically reach for Jane. 

You land in her room to a startled gasp, her hand covers her mouth in a poise of decorum. "Dirk?" She asks and not even ten seconds later is pulling Dirk Strider into a tight hug. 

"Heh, Jane?" He smiles softly and hugs her back. You think you made the right choice here, they both look happy and you would zap out if you could but for now you plop down in Jane's computer chair. 

"I was just reading your edited version of Pony Pals, Dirk I must say you do have a peculiar sense of humor but I can't deny how much I appreciate your wittism." She finally says letting go of him. 

You hang around long enough to listen to them talk about horses and Dirk starts editing another book for Jane. You don't get it but you don't think you're meant to, this is a joke you're not in on and that's fine. You leave feeling like you at least made them both happy.


	7. Chapter 7

You’re not sure why, maybe because they're technically family or maybe you want the cool dude familiarity of Dave right now. Regardless you reach for him and zap the both of you into the middle of a road. Dirk body slams you out of the way of a car and he lands squarely on top of you as shoes walk a wide path around you both. Some stop to take pictures and mutter stuff. 

"We should get moving…" Dirk looks completely uncomfortable and you figure out why. You have an audience...who witnessed you both pop into existence. You get to your feet and book it, there's a familiar pain in your side and you realize your rib is broken. You feel hands under your arms as Dirk picks you up, you guess you were moving too slow. 

Dirk runs a couple of blocks and you look around as he does so, the cars are different. The clothes are different...this isn't Dave's time. You have no idea what year it is but it's not right. Dirk turns behind a building and puts you on his shoulders as he pulls open an employees only door and walks in. You recognize that it's a movie theater. You see hologram displays of the movies and Dirk puts you down, walking to a very specific one. You recognize the characters in the display are the same as some that were on Dirk's flatscreen. 

"It's the release of Sbahj IV." Dirk says and...he's awestruck. "Daniel Glover won an award for his performance in this one before getting assassinated." He whispers to you before going down the hall. You guess you're going to watch a movie with Dirk. You shrug and follow. 

During the movie Dirk received many shushes from other movie goers as he openly analyzed the work you watched, you don't get it but he assures you that the wacky antics are a complex political statement and call to action which is what Dave is renowned for. This is news to you. 

"So, I should find Dave and help him try to take down the batterwitch. Maybe together we can actually succeed and make the future better." He's trying to act cool but you can tell he's just an excited fanboy and you agree to help him find alpha Dave but for now you just enjoy the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next 4 chapters are follow ups on how things turned out with his friends and Dave. Some routes are so short but I kind of just really wanted to showcase how Dirk, pre epilogues, is an awkward teenager doing his best.


End file.
